TRUE: Guy Fieri Brands Whoopi Goldberg ‘Toxic,’ Issues Permanent Restaurant Ban

Just when we thought the realm of culinary feuds was simmering down, Guy Fieri, the man with hair as white as his mozzarella sticks and shirts as loud as his ‘Trash Can Nachos,’ fired up a fresh fracas. This time, the crosshairs landed on Whoopi Goldberg. Yes, you read it right. She’s not Goldberg, she’s “Toxic,” says the undisputed Emperor of ‘Flavortown,’ as he officially bans the Hollywood icon from his eclectic eateries.

In a move as shocking as a surprise bite of wasabi in your sushi roll, Fieri has pronounced that the EGOT winner, the woman who made ‘Sister Act’ a cultural phenomenon, is no longer welcome in his establishments. “She’s toxic,” Fieri proclaimed, with a sternness that would have made his ‘Volcano Chicken’ blush.

Now, Fieri’s restaurants are known for many things. They’re the home of ‘Guy-talian Nachos,’ a place where the ‘Bacon Mac n Cheese Burger’ is a rite of passage, a spot where ‘Dragon’s Breath Chili’ sends tremors down your spine. And now, they’ve become the stage for a Hollywood face-off that’s more heated than Fieri’s signature ‘Ghost Pepper Wing Sauce

The announcement struck the public with the same intensity as Fieri’s ‘Triple D’ Hot Sauce. Why would the sultan of sizzle, the Don of Donkey Sauce, the torchbearer of all things deep-fried and daring, put a ban on Goldberg, a woman known for her steady head in stormy debates and her soft spot for human rights issues?

Naturally, people had a hard time swallowing this news, harder than choking down Fieri’s ‘Cheesecake Challenge.’ The internet was set ablaze, ironically making ‘Guy vs Whoopi’ trend hotter than Fieri’s ‘Fireball Whisky Wings.’