ABC has terminated Jimmy Kimmel and axed his late-night program, citing his humor as “drier than a desert.”

In a twist that left fans clutching their remote controls in disbelief, ABC has made the gut-wrenching call to bid adieu to Jimmy Kimmel, effectively pulling the plug on his iconic late-night show, “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” The network, once a stalwart supporter of Kimmel’s comedic antics, now finds itself navigating uncharted waters, leaving viewers drowning in a sea of sorrow and uncertainty.

Jimmy Kimmel, the comedic virtuoso whose quick wit and biting satire have been a staple of American late-night television for nearly two decades, now finds himself ousted from the very stage that catapulted him to stardom.

The reason? Well, according to ABC executives, it seems poor Jimmy just wasn’t delivering the laughs like he used to. In a statement that surely left Kimmel reaching for the tissues, the network lamented, “After careful consideration, we’ve decided it’s time to bid farewell to our beloved Jimmy. Let’s just say, he’s about as funny as a eulogy at a funeral.”

But the real kicker? It seems Jimmy’s humor, once heralded as cutting-edge and boundary-pushing, has fallen victim to the dreaded decline in viewership and a strategic shift in ABC’s trajectory.

It appears the network has grown weary of Jimmy’s antics, longing for greener pastures devoid of political jabs and controversial quips. Oh, the humanity!

Critics of Kimmel, particularly those waving the conservative banner, have long accused the comedian of harboring a liberal bias, turning his late-night escapades into a partisan battlefield.

His jabs at politicians and policies have left many viewers squirming in their seats, questioning whether they were tuning into a comedy show or a political rally. But fear not, dear readers, for ABC has valiantly stepped in to shield us from such divisive discourse. Bless their hearts!

As the dust settles and late-night aficionados mourn the loss of their beloved Kimmel, one can’t help but wonder: what does this mean for the future of late-night television? Will the landscape be forever altered by ABC’s bold move, or will another comedic crusader rise from the ashes to take Jimmy’s place? Only time will tell, but one thing’s for certain: in the ever-changing world of entertainment, the only constant is the quest for the perfect punchline.

So here’s to you, Jimmy Kimmel, the fallen king of late-night comedy. Though your reign may have come to an abrupt end, your legacy will live on in the hearts and laughter of fans everywhere. And to ABC, the network that dared to silence the laughter, may your decision serve as a cautionary tale in the annals of television history. After all, in the immortal words of Jimmy himself, “It’s better to be funny than to be right…unless you’re canceled, of course.”