Elon Musk Begs Taylor Swift to Post Her Music on Zombie Twitter

Owner of failing social media platform would like one of the biggest musicians on the planet to help it stay relevant

Swifties are currently living in feverish anticipation of 1989 (Taylor’s Version), the next in the singer’s series of re-recorded albums, which drops on Oct. 27 — the ninth anniversary of the original’s release. Naturally, Swift has teased the release in dramatic fashion, inviting fans to solve puzzles to reveal the titles of vault tracks that will appear on the record, and on Tuesday shared them on social media along with back cover images. “I can’t wait for this one to be out, seriously,” she wrote on X — prompting a transparently desperate reply from the platform’s beleaguered owner.

“I recommend posting some music or concert videos directly on the X platform,” Musk tweeted, unable to muster a single reason why Swift, one of the most successful musicians on the planet, should do so.

Between her astronomical album and concert sales, streaming dominance, and general icon status, Swift has no need for further promotion, least of all on a website that sent advertisers fleeing when the billionaire who impulsively bought it became obsessed with defeating the “woke mind virus.” New music or videos from Swift, however — the rollout of which was no doubt meticulously coordinated long before Musk had the bright idea to leverage her superstardom to his own benefit — would guarantee a spike of engagement, however fleeting, for X